Weight Loss Basics - Shame

There is something that we don't talk about; we don't talk about it because it's a secret. It's one that we all have. Some of us have quieted it down, and some of us think it's a dark incommunicable that we can't admit to a soul, even to ourselves.

It's what we do after working so hard to supervene a regular regime of food and exercise. When all things is going great-until it isn't. That's the tricky part. You see, we don't even know when the opinion will creep up. The thing is, it all the time does, and, on some level, it all the time will. What am I talking about? You know. I'm talking about The Binge. Such a silly word for something so destructive: the violent flogging of our very selves, the selves we think we hate. We do it alone, in secret, in the dark, so that no one will ever know. But we know. It's our shame, our dark minute secret. We lie about it to everyone, especially to ourselves.

Food And Dessert

You know what I mean because you've done it, too. Sure, you'll tell everyone how well you eat, how you can't illustrate why you're not losing weight. "Maybe it's my thyroid," you'll say, "because I eat very well and not very much!" And everyone will sympathize and believe you, as well, because they see what you eat: the salads, the veggies, the fruits, and never dessert, right? Ah, but they don't see what happens after the door closes, when no one is around. The Binge. And then we lie again. "I will be there when the gym opens tomorrow, no matter what," we promise ourselves.

Lies. Sad, sad, lies.

Why would I speak of something that is so very difficult for you to talk about and for me to explain? Well, if we keep this incommunicable deep inside of ourselves, it will stay right there, chronic to damage us as it has in the past. Do you think you are weak? Do you think no one will understand? Do you think you will be judged, ridiculed, and shamed? Are you afraid that if you look at it and speak of it aloud, then it will become real? It is already real. You know it is because you do it, and I will tell you this: you are not alone. Many citizen bury this dark secret, but there are ways to deal with it, and many of us have been able to deal with it by taking it into the light. We have found ways to deal with the pain, the sorrow, the solitude, and anything else, by bringing it into the light. And when the incommunicable is out, it no longer adds to our pain.

One remedy is to let others in. Let the citizen who love you into your world. Start by telling man the secret, or if that is too difficult to do then do me a favor: before you sit down all by yourself to throw yourself away, take a moment to think about what it is you're feeling. I can certify you it's not hunger, but something deeper. Take a moment before you take that dive, and ask yourself what is hurting. If you can't tell someone, write it down in a letter to yourself. Then you can look at it clearly. At least it will no longer be a incommunicable you keep from yourself. Write it down and keep writing until you don't have to keep hurting yourself, so that you don't have to eat and eat and eat until it hurts more than the pain you are feeling inside.

When you start to do this, to express yourself, to allow yourself to feel what it is you're nothing else but feeling, you will see that it's not hunger. Is it possibly sadness? Despair? Fear? All of the above? Yes. It's pain. That pain is the presume you have the problem you have now, the presume you find yourself reading this. I understand, and I know that what you need is more than a list of foods that you should eat to lose weight. I can and will give that to you, but first, you need to have the strength, the conviction, to look within and own your feelings. Even if you do choose to self-destruct this time, the next time, at least, you might be able to name it and see it for what it is.

You see; you and I are no different. I have been where you are, and so have my clients. Many of us have crossed over and brought our pain to the light, but please know that even now I sometimes feel the sadness creeping up on me. However, I now know how to let myself feel and accept that it will happen again: we are human, and sadness is part of the human experience. Allow yourself to feel it, own it, and then love yourself, and hold your head up high with pride, with beauty, and with strength.

You can do this, we all can.

Weight Loss Basics - Shame